Losing My Mind…And My Keys
I have a pretty constant level of chaos in my head at all times. It takes me a while to convince my brain it can slow down a bit for me to go to sleep. It’s always “go go go!” and I can’t really calm it down. I’ve learned to live with it, and function (relatively) well with the constant “oh what about this oh now you should think about this OH WAIT what about this other thing you haven’t thought of in like 6 weeks?!”
The problem I run into is when the chaos of my life gets so intense I can’t just absorb it into that background. If things get too nuts, even the normal chaos gets to be too much and I just start to lose it. This is usually evidenced by a complete lack of humor quickly followed by absolutely everything under the sun being funny, exhaustion, confusion over what has actually happened and what I think has happened, and an inability to keep track of anything.
Right now, things are still pretty nuts thanks to my fantastic, wonderful place of employment (yes I am still there…more on that at a later time). This means that I’ve far exceeded my normal chaos threshold, and I’m starting to lose my mind.
I have lost my ability to multitask, and if I get distracted by one thing while working on another, I totally lose track of where I am in either of them. I think if I ask Geoff where my phone went one more time his head might explode. I also need to stop incorporating my alarm clock into my dreams. Last night it was telling me when to feed my fish. I couldn’t figure out why that fish needed to eat so much…
And then there’s work. There was when I needed to get something out of my car earlier today and couldn’t find my keys, then a few hours later discovered I had put them in my lunch bag in the refrigerator. Or when I tried to start a test at work without actually, you know, making any of my solutions. Or when I tried to sign off on another data packet and signed a totally different name. Not even my maiden name, just a totally random name.
It’s one of those things that’s really funny if I don’t think too hard about the fact that it’s happening to me right now. Like when I think about this in a few weeks it’ll probably be kind of amusing.
Anyone else ever get this flustered?