Secret Saturday: My Inner Creative Is Choking To Death

Someday I’ll have enough free time that I can daydream with perfectly manicured nails like this lady.

I have a seemingly endless list of projects collecting in my head that I want to work on.

I have a recipe for milk stout cookies that I’ve almost perfected.  I want to come up with a champagne and potato chip cookie recipe.  I want to figure out how to make panna cotta, because that first try was way off.  I want to experiment more with my candy thermometer (so far I’ve made coffee caramels and pomegranate molasses chews).  I want to sew a dress.  I want to restart my necklaces for the Etsy store.  I want to do some canvas paintings.  I want to try to paint canvas shoes with some nerdy design.  I could go on forever.

I know most of it won’t turn out the way I want it to since my brain and my hands don’t seem to communicate too well, but I still want to work on it all.  But there’s no time.  There’s never any time.  I’m either at work, cleaning up the house, making dinner, working on house stuff, or too tired from any combination thereof, and I just can’t do any of it.  And when I may have a window of opportunity, the part of my brain that tries to be logical jumps in and goes “do you really need to spend the money on supplies for that when you’ll probably have to throw it out anyways since it didn’t work?”

I needed a pick-me-up, so I baked a cheesecake. That’s the kind of person I am.

I know, I’m a total buzz kill.  But at least I have cheesecake.

In the imaginary world where money didn’t matter, I’d probably drop my job and just stay home experimenting all day.  I have costumes I want to make (hellooooooo Spartan armor).  I have candies I want to make.  I have shoes I want to make.  I just want to make stuff.

I blame the backpack project.  That kind of woke up that side of me, so now that it’s finally out of bed it wants to get out.  Instead, I’ve got it locked in a basement somewhere, and I don’t see any time soon that I can let it out.  There’s too much going on outside.

Being an adult sucks.

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Posted on July 13, 2013, in Growing Up, Misc. Topics (Life), Personal Projects, Work and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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