Can Someone Please Explain To Me Exactly What The Problem Is With Gay Marriage?

With countries around the world formally legalizing gay marriage, the debate over its place here in the US seems to have started anew.  Or maybe it’s just louder than it has been in the past few months.  This is one of those debates that I just shake my head at.  I’m not deliberately trying to create trouble, but I honestly just don’t get it.  Why is this an issue?  I keep hearing “arguments” against it, but they never seem to make any sense.  Is that the point?  Confuse people so they stop arguing with you?

1) It’s not natural.  To say it isn’t natural is to say that it doesn’t occur in nature.  Homosexual and bisexual behavior has been observed in some 1,500 species, and is well documented and studied in about 500 of those.  Sounds plenty natural to me.

2) It’s a sin.  This one sort of ties in with #1 for me, because it is well accepted in the same religions that tout a non-tolerance for homosexuality that animals cannot sin.  The reasoning is that animals don’t have souls (an idea I do not personally subscribe to), so they cannot sin.  If animals cannot sin, but routinely exhibit homosexual behavior, then it cannot be a sin.  Match point?

3) It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.  Yes, you’re right, it wasn’t Adam and Steve.  Do you know why?  Because if you’re going to follow the letter of the book and say that the world population really did get started with just 2 people, then those 2 people had to be able to reproduce.  It was a necessity, not a Biblical message.  At a world population of nearly 7 billion, reproduction is no longer a necessity.  Also, I don’t think Adam had any more ribs to spare to make any extra people.

4) It’s a sin (because the Bible says so).  The more specific version of #2, some people point to a Bible verse that states that “a man shall not lie with another man as he lies with a woman” (the exact wording depends on which version you read).  That is in the same section that says you can’t eat shellfish, wear clothing of mixed fabrics, shave your beard, or get tattoos (among other things).  If you want to wave the Bible around, you’re not allowed to pick and choose what parts apply and what parts are “no longer relevant”.

5) It’s not traditional.  Well if we’re going to start having traditional marriages, then we should start allowing polygamy, forcing widows to marry their dead husband’s brother, telling girls they have to marry their rapists, and encourage the keeping of concubines.  That’s what traditional marriage looked like.

6) It’s destroying the sanctity of marriage.  If you want to argue that allowing homosexuals to get married is destroying the sacred institution of marriage, you might want to take a look at the divorce statistics.  How is it that allowing more people who are in love and willing to commit to each other for eternity is bad, but people dissolving their marriages for “irreconcilable differences” and the like is no big deal?  Until I hear you hollering about making divorce illegal (or a good explanation as to why it’s not an issue), this is probably one of the more hypocritical arguments of the lot.

7) Think of the children!  There have been several studies that show that children who grow up in same-sex parent households not only do just as well as their peers, but in many cases actually do better both in intellectual and psychological tests.  They also report being happier with their home-life than other children (on average of course).  If you want to argue that kids should have mom/dad parents, I point at the large number of single parents in today’s society.  Along with the divorce comment, until you want to start yelling about single parents this argument doesn’t carry a lot of weight.

8) If you allow this, what’s to stop people from marrying animals/inanimate objects.  It’s simple: consent.  An animal cannot consent.  That tree in your backyard cannot consent.  People can consent.

9) Let’s allow civil unions, that’s like the same thing.  Two sides here.  If it’s “like the same thing” then why not just make it the same thing and go straight to marriage?  Also, that sounds awfully “separate but equal” and we all know how well that went over.

10) It’s gross.  Okay, that’s fine, you don’t have to like it.  At least you can admit that’s your problem with it.  No one’s saying you have to do it, and allowing it doesn’t mean you’re going to see two guys going at it in the middle of the street any more than you’ll see a straight couple doing it.  Allowing marriage is not going to make any difference in what you see out and about now.  Even if you like to make a habit of staring into your neighbor’s bedroom window at night, a marriage or lack thereof is not going to make a difference.  You’re going to see the same thing, piece of paper or not.

I’m not saying it’s an idea you have to subscribe to.  Personally it’s not an activity I ever want to engage in, but that doesn’t give me the right to say other people can’t/shouldn’t.  No one is saying that allowing means you have to allow it in your religious institutions.  It being legally right does not mandate you accept it as right in your religious beliefs, and you or your church do not have to perform the marriage ceremonies.  Marriage itself is no longer a strictly religious idea, and is more legal than anything else at this point.  Yes, you can have religious marriages, but a marriage does not necessitate religion.  Afterall, how do you think atheists get married?

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, it really is a sin.  Let’s say you’re right.  That still doesn’t mean you get to legislate it.  No other religion in this country is demanding laws be written forbidding the consumption of pork or that women cover  themselves from head to toe.  If it really is a sin, your God will take care of it when judgement comes.

I just can’t wrap my head around the idea that a person or group of people think it’s okay to dictate what another person can and can’t do in their personal life.  It doesn’t hurt anyone.  They’re two consenting adults who want to tell the world they love each other and want to spend the rest of their lives together the same way any straight couple gets to.

Also?  This.  Which is so NSFW.



Posted on April 25, 2013, in Life, Misc. Topics (Life), Relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. I don’t get it either. It makes me sad that right now gay people can’t enjoy the same basic right as straight people. It makes me even more sad to know that people are fighting to keep it that way. My argument is always “who is it hurting if these two people who love each other get married?!” and the answer is “no one…” so I don’t really get it. At all. I totally agree with your “separate but equal” point too.

    In light of the “separate but equal” comment, the “think of the children!” argument really bugs me because apparently people also told my mom that when she (an African American woman) married my dad (a white guy). I think I turned out pretty okay and normal (minus the whole shark obsession thing, but I don’t think that has anything to do with my skin color). Plus I know kids of same sex couples and I’d say they’re pretty well adjusted too. UGH.

    In related news, I recently read a book of short stories involving love and relationships. It was cool because it took you one to two pages to figure out if the main character was a guy or a girl and therefore if they were straight or gay. Also, you could relate to the overall message of each story regardless of whether you had the same sexual orientation of the main character. It really demonstrated how universal love is and I liked it a lot.

  2. Thankfully, this issue has been decided. Some people will continue to object, and that may or may not be their right. But what is a right has been determined: the right to marry whomever you choose. Even Rush Limbaugh admitted it’s over. Future generations will wonder what all the noise was about.

  3. Reblogged this on I Just Want It To Be Perfect and commented:
    I can’t say this any better than this blogger already did. I’ve photographed a number of same-sex weddings, and I’ve yet to notice any appreciable difference between those and “traditional” weddings. Nice outfits, lots of love, and plenty of silly behavior on the dance floor. What’s not to like?

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