Let’s Be Honest, I Can’t Cook

I’ve made allusions to it in previous posts, but I think it’s time to stop dancing around the issue and just come out and say it: I suck at cooking.

Really.  I’m terrible.  I have some physical inability to heat proteins in a manner that makes it taste good.  Or even edible.

If you take meat out of the equation, I’m totally fine.  I can make sauces (mostly).  I can cook veggies (and by “cook” I mean “steam without making them soggy”).  I can bake (no catch here, seriously I can make some wicked carb-laden tools of waist-line destruction).  But I cannot seem to make a full meal that is actually edible.

There are literally two dishes I can make and it’s because I’ve been trying to make them work for so long that I think I eventually just wore out the voodoo surrounding them.  And they’re mostly idiot proof.  “Is the chicken pink?  No?  Good it’s done.”

My mom gave me a cookbook for Christmas that had a stuffed chicken recipe in it that sounded fantastic, and my family did it at home and said it was amazing, so we gave it a shot.  I apparently got hit with the double whammy of my usual inability to cook and whatever universal force it is that makes things go wrong when you have guests coming, and it was bad.  Geoff insists it was fine.  I’m pretty sure “fine” is the nicest thing you could say about it, and even that was a stretch.  It wasn’t good.  Of course the next time we went to IL my mom made it since it had become their favorite dish, and it was so fabulous that even though it was 3 weeks later I felt terrible about my failure making it all over again.  I want to try it again, but when I say that what I really means is that I want Geoff to try it.

See, when Geoff cooks things, they’re always great.  You know why?  I read instructions, and he doesn’t.

I’m not saying that to be a snot, it’s true, and we’ve even talked/joked about it.  I follow recipes religiously.  That’s probably why I can bake pretty well. He’ll look at the list of ingredients, take the amounts as “suggestions” and for the most part just goes to town.  I think I’m just too “letter of the law” to be a successful cook.

That sounds better than just a completely lack of skill, so that’s what I’m going with.

That’s okay though.  I’ve made friends with pastries.  When you’re ready for dessert, you know where to find me.

This is more my style right here. Cookies. Oooooh yeah.

Anyone else out there cooking-challenged?


Posted on April 18, 2013, in Growing Up, Life, Misc. Topics (Life) and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Hang in there!!! You will find at least a few dishes that you can always nail (it is finding them that can be hard!) how about lasagna or other ‘casarole” type things…they are pretty much piles of deliciousness that is hard to screw up 🙂 good luck!

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