Secret Saturday: Girls Can Complicate Anything, Including Flowers

I like flowers.  I like them because they’re pretty and they smell nice.  I like them like any typical girly-girl does.  But there’s a problem.  I’m no expert, but I do actually know about flowers.  I did even before the wedding planning adventure, and now that we’re past that I know a lot about flowers.

If you want to give me flowers, give me something different.  Give me something I like.  Give me something with a lot of color.

Don’t give me roses.

I strongly dislike roses.  They’re pretty and all that, but they’ve been so romanticized that I feel like they’re just a cliché.  They’re delicate but sturdy, and come in a variety of colors, but that doesn’t seem to make them any less bland to me.  I find them boring.  They’re the flower you give when you don’t know anything about flowers.  It’s the “I just realized I should probably get you flowers and this was the only thing I recognized and they do this in all those movies” flower.

Don’t give me an orchid plant either.  Or anything else potted.

I kill plants.  I don’t do it for fun or out of malice.  I just don’t have a green-thumb.  I don’t even have a slightly-green-but-mostly-yellow thumb.  It’s black.  I’ve killed death proof plants like bamboo and cactus. Maybe it’s tied to my complete inability to cook?  There has to be a connection…

I don’t want you to give me something that you expect to live more than a week.  You have given me something I have to babysit and take care of and then feel bad about when I inevitably kill it.  Plants come with a message that says “your feelings about me will be directly conveyed in how long you keep this alive”.  I don’t want that.  You give me a plant thing, what you’d better be doing is saying “here, this is for you!  I will put it where you can enjoy its beautifulness but I can still reach it to take care of it so you don’t have to feel guilty about destroying it.”

Orchids just as a stem are fine though.  Let me make that distinction.  Because orchids are gorgeous.

I don’t want flowers all the time, because let’s face it: they’re going to die.  They don’t last for a long time, so it’s silly to constantly spend money on them when they don’t serve a function other than to just exist. But they’re fun sometimes, especially if someone knows what your favorites are.  Lucky for Geoff, my favorites tend to be cheap.  My absolute favorite is technically a filler flower, so for what you’d spend on a dozen roses you can get an overflowing vase full of color.

I don’t want flowers as an apology.  I want them because I had a rough day or did something extra or special the other day for you or because they’re just pretty and sometimes you want to give me pretty things.  Flowers are okay just because.

As long as they’re bright.


Posted on February 23, 2013, in Life, Misc. Topics (Life) and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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