What’s It Like Being Married?
Posted by Jenn
I get this question a lot, from friends and family alike. There are multiple variations, but the end point is always the same. I know it’s not just me, that other newly married people get asked the same thing.
I’ll be honest, I don’t understand why this is a question.
What’s it like being married? It’s exactly the same as it was when we were dating, except my last name is different and breaking up would be infinitely more difficult now.
Am I missing some big secret or something?
This question makes me think there is supposed to be some magical change once you finish a wedding, like your relationship is supposed to evolve into something different or that you are supposed to become different people. Getting married did not change Geoff’s tendency to use the kitchen towel to wipe the floor or his habit of leaving dishes in the sink, nor did it change my mood swings or my total disregard for anyone else needing counter space in the bathroom. It didn’t magically give me the ability to cook, it didn’t make it so Geoff would stay still in his sleep, and we don’t suddenly have the same definition of clean.
Did we miss a magic word or secret phrase at our wedding?
There must be something. There would be no reason to ask that question otherwise, right?
The best I can come up with is that it is the easiest way to ask “how is your relationship?” without outright saying it and sounding like you’re questioning the decision to legally bind yourself to another person.
What’s it like being married? It’s like being able to simultaneously undercook the bacon but overcook the chicken for dinner. It’s like leaving wet towels on the floor. It’s like insisting your way is better than his way. It’s like “doing the dishes” by putting them in the sink and filling them with water.
It’s just like it was before. And that’s just the way I want it.
Although it would be nice if I could cook.