Surprises: Love To Hate Them, Or Hate To Love Them?

I’m going to be honest, I love surprises.  I love to do them, I love to get them, I love to just hear about someone else’s.  To me, surprises are the epitome of showing someone you really, really care about them.  You have done something completely unexpected and unwarranted, and kept it a secret.  I’m talking everything from a random gift to an event, they take planning and secrecy with a hint of detective work.  It’s a lot of work to go through for no reason other than you want to.

The problem is that I rarely get surprised.  I have a knack for ruining them.  I don’t like to have empty time, so if I have a day or evening that is wide open I’m going to try to find something to fill it, so you can’t pull surprises that depend on me not making plans.  You have to involve someone else, and you have to make sure that whatever excuse they’re following I can’t mess up with ideas like “let’s get a whole bunch of people together” or “no I don’t really feel like going out anymore, let’s just stay here”.  I ask too many questions.  If I want something, I don’t wait around too long to see if someone else is going to get it for me, I just get it myself.  That’s why if you can actually pull one off, I can’t actually put into words how ridiculously happy it makes me.  I think the last successful surprise anyone has pulled off was actually when Geoff proposed last year.  And I think before that it was when he sent me flowers for my birthday 8 months before that.

I daydream about surprises.  I am constantly coming up with scenarios where someone could do something, to the point where I get so excited about it that I almost get a little sad if it doesn’t happen.  I get more sad if I find out that one of these harebrained ideas of mine was actually going to happen and I screwed it up.  The worst thing for me is finding out I ruined a surprise for myself.  For the record, if I ruin a surprise you have planned for me, for the love of all that is good in this world don’t tell me.  I will feel awful, not just because I ruined it for you, but because I know I just ruined it for myself. - I hate to shock you, but there's no surprise party

Of course, most of the people I know are on the opposite side of the scale.  They hate surprises.  For some of them its the idea that someone else made a plan they have no control over and they’re expected to be happy about it.  For some it’s that they don’t like being the focus.  They will actually get mad if someone tries to surprise them, which makes me sad because that limits who I can share my surprise love with (wow that sounds dirty).  I’m glad to say I’ve done well in knowing who doesn’t like them so I’ve never been in a bad surprise situation, but I constantly find myself trying to find excuses to surprise the people who do like them.  For a while I had a habit of hiding notes in Geoff’s apartment every time I was there for a visit so he would find them when I left.

If you couldn’t figure it out, this all came up because I ruined one recently.  Go me.  I have been hoping since Geoff and I had to part ways for work two years ago that he’d surprise me by taking a day off of work and showing up out of the blue, and it’s never happened.  Turns out he was going to do that last Friday, but he couldn’t get a hold of my mom to try to coordinate anything, and I went and made plans because I didn’t think he’d be getting here til about 8PM Friday night (ironically enough the plans we were with mom, doh!).  Of course I am now actually moving there soon, so it’s never going to happen now.  Sad panda.

Which side of the fence do  you fall on?  Do you love them or hate them?  If you love them, what’s been your favorite you’ve been a part of?  If you hate them, what don’t you like about them, and have you ever had a “no, really you shouldn’t have” moment?

PS.  Why the hell is “Rihanna” a recommended tag for this post?


Posted on September 10, 2012, in Life, Misc. Topics (Life), Relationships and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I love surprises but like you, I am really good at ruining them by overanalyzing everything. It always makes the surprises awkward because I am feeling guilty about having already figured them out instead of just enjoying them.

    Cobalt’s proposal was also a surprise! It was funny because for about 6 months before it happened, every time we went on a special trip together, I worried that he was going to propose and I would have already figured it out and then I would get that guilty feeling, etc. But it didn’t work out that way and I actually got to be surprised! Yay!

    Sad that you “ruined” your surprise this weekend though… 😦 That is totally something I would do. >_<

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