Bridesmaid Accessories

I love this picture for 3 reason: there's a guy in her bridal party, the purple color of the dresses is awesome, and I'm totally jealous of their bouquets.

You’ve spent all this time choosing your own accessories, but your girls are going to need things like shoes too!  Things to consider here are shoes, jewelry, clutches, and hair accessories, the same things you had to consider for yourself.  You may have a very specific idea of what you want for them, or you may have no idea at all, but it’s time to start thinking!

If you don’t really have a clear idea, it is perfectly acceptable (and relatively common, both in cases where they’re all in the same dress and when they’re in different dresses) to just give your girls some guidelines and let them choose their own accessories.  Guidelines can be anything from color families, sizes, blinglevels, almost anything.  This lets your girls still fit whatever general image you might have while still getting to show off their individual personalities.

You might have a very clear idea of what you want, but here you need to be careful.  If you are requiring specific things, you are responsible for paying for them (the exception being the dress).  You are choosing things that will likely not get much wear beyond your wedding, and it’s unfair to expect your girls to shell out for something they will never use again that’s in a category where they SHOULD be able to use it again.  On a related note, anything you require does NOT count as a gift.  Saying that the shoes you bought for them for your wedding is a gift is like your husband buying you a dustpan for your birthday.  Okay it’s not that bad, but it’s close.

If you’re going to choose shoes for your girls, be careful.  I think we’ve all worn uncomfortable shoes at some point in our lives, and it’s difficult to find shoes that make everyone’s feet happy.  I’ve heard awful stories of girls who were told they had to wear specific shoes, and they just didn’t fit right, and they ended up with blisters by the end of the night (some even by the end of the ceremony!).

These same rules apply for hair and makeup.  If you are requiring something specific (either a specific style or even just requiring they have it done professionally), you are responsible for the cost.  If you make it an option, you do not have to pay for whatever choice they make.

I told my girls that in a perfect world I wanted them to have dark silver/pewter colored shoes, and that beyond that it was their call.  I even felt bad being that specific and said that if they found lighter silver ones they liked, to just do those instead.  My bridesmaids apparently wanted me to be more specific and pestered me until I gave them some more details of what I’d ideally like, but made sure they knew that, really, the extra details didn’t matter as long as it was the right color family.  My sister and Laura each ended up with PERFECT shoes (they’re not just pewter, they’re pumps like I wanted to boot!), and Tim’s sister hasn’t gotten hers yet (I’m guessing hers will be flats, because she’s tall and doesn’t like to wear heels, which I’m totally cool with; even wearing my heels she’ll still probably be taller than me!).  Jewelry is also up to them, though I am getting them each a custom-made necklace from a local lady in their favorite colors which they can wear for the wedding if they want.

How are you going about accessories for your girls?  Are you giving them guidelines, or doing something specific?


Posted on April 2, 2012, in Attire, Wedding Planning Isn't For Sissies and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. I gave them specific shoes and the dress to purchase for the wedding. I picked out the shoes specifically because if I didn’t, I think I would have had the problem that you had – not being specific enough for the girls to know what I wanted. I went to DSW and tried on all the shoes I was interested in them wearing to make sure they were comfortable (they are). The ones I picked are more or less fancy wedge sandals so I think they will be pretty easy to wear again. I am also thinking about buying them Old Navy flip flops for after the ceremony so they can be more comfy if they want. As for hair and makeup and jewelry, I decided that they know their hair and makeup stuff better than I do so I think my instructions are just gonna be wear it down (however they like), not too much makeup, and no super blingy jewelry. I think I will clarify silver jewelry over gold but otherwise, they can pick out their own. For my gift to them (besides the flip flops), I am actually leaning more towards getting my girls a cell phone wallet – it has a wrist strap and it can hold your cell phone and some credit cards and I can get them personalized with the girls’ names. I think that would be helpful for the wedding and beyond. I am also kind of considering getting them stuffed “Giant Microbes” because I am nerdy like that and that would be an obvious present from me.

    • The giant microbes are awesome. I’m also glad you specified “stuffed”, because knowing what you do I’d have probably had a moment of panic thinking you were going to give them ACTUAL giant microbes before my brain would even consider the stuffed ones.

  2. Although it would have been nice to have my bridesmaids all in red, I decided to have them all wear black dresses, which they already own. I know they’re all on tight budgets (one’s a single mother, one’s a still a student, and the other just got back from a stint in the Peace Corps), and I don’t want to thrust any extra expenses on them. Because of that, I’m also asking them to wear shoes, jewelry, etc. that they already own, unless they just find something that they really want anyway (I’m okay with people using my wedding as an excuse to go shopping if they want). They’re all very different, so I wouldn’t want to dictate a certain style or anything. I trust that none of them are going to show up in running shoes (Converse would be okay though). If I have one in sparkly, silver heels and another in plain, black flats, I’ll be fine with both (though I do love sparkly, silver things!).

    • That is really cool that you are so willing to work with what your girls already have so you don’t put any extra pressure on them. Major props to you!

  3. I love my BMs, but they were SUCH a pain for this! XD We’re doing custom jackets in the dark blue, so I told them silver dresses, about tea-length. As long as they’re the same color and length, I don’t care. They insisted they had to match, and ended up buying a pattern to make dresses that they all liked. With the shoes, I figured they could all get a silver shoe and call it a day. They insisted they had to match, so we went shoe shopping until they agreed on one they all liked. *headdesk* Fortunatly, they all got something they loved since the pattern is BEAUTIFUL in the fabric they picked out and they’re looking foward to wearing them again in the future.

    • That’s actually kind of really funny. Thanks for sharing!

      And serious props to you and the BMs for actually finding not just a dress, but shoes too, everyone actually agreed on!

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